Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference
Using a List to Guide Revision
Clarity, conciseness, and engagement are the cornerstones of effective public health writing. The onus is on each of us to make our prose as engaging and easy to read as possible. Here’s a list of things I keep in mind when I’m working on my own writing, providing feedback on student papers, and editing Public Health Post articles.
This is not a list of rules. You can add things or create your own list.
Once you have taken a look at my list, keep reading for some thoughts about how to use it.
Read Out Loud
Read your draft out loud. This is a good way to identify long or awkward sentences, typos, and unclear points.
Fix the things you notice, and read it out loud again.
Polish Sentences by Paying Attention to the Words You Use
Place subjects and verbs at the beginning of sentences and close together.
Reword sentences where you lean on vague placeholder phrasing like “it is,” “there is,” “there are,” and “this is." Replacing with clear, descriptive words will enliven your sentences, improve clarity, and enhance your confidence and authority.
Revise the word “issue” out of every sentence in which it appears. Everything in public health is an issue. The word is vague, overused, and meaningless.
Use words that anyone can understand.
Try to remove all abbreviations (widely recognized abbreviations are fine: LGBTQ, HIV, COVID).
When a sentence is 3 lines or longer, consider breaking it up.
Avoid technical jargon whenever possible.
Do you have a lot of words that end with “ize,” “tion,” or “ization”? Note them and make deliberate choices about when to keep and when to revise.
Pay particular attention to words ending in “tion.” Helen Sword calls these words Zombie nouns. They are often a symptom of passive writing. You can make your writing more succinct by eliminating as many as possible.
Some Thoughts on How to Use a List Like This
Remember: Writing = Revision
Write messy first drafts. Let the words flow, with the understanding that you will be revising. DO NOT worry about the items on the list as you are working on a first draft. You don’t want to censor yourself as you are writing. Instead, use the list after you have written to help you revise.
DO start the writing process early so you have time to revise and share with peers or colleagues for feedback.
Choose One of Two Things to Work on at a Time
Don’t try to do everything on the list in a single sitting or draft. Pace yourself. Choose one thing that you want to work on. For example, if you know you write long, wordy sentences, then you might choose breaking up long sentences as something to focus on. This entails reading each sentence and then making conscious decisions.
If you read the sentence out loud, notice where you need to take a breath. Is that a natural point to end the sentence? If the sentence is longer than three lines but doesn’t have an obvious place to break, think about ways to reword. You may end up with one shorter sentence, two, or even three.
You can stick with breaking up long sentences for a week, a month, or while revising a particular draft. Remember, don’t try to do everything at once. Small, deliberate changes can make a big difference in clarity and readability.
What I find most helpful about using a list is that it helps me see my writing in a new way. I am able to look through the ideas and information I am trying to convey, and see the individual sentences and words. Once I start to notice, I can make deliberate decisions about what I want to revise and how best to do it.
Future posts will look at list items in detail and suggest ways to put them into action.
Some of My Favorite Revising Resources
Roy Peter Clark. Writing Tools: 55 Essential Strategies for Every Writer. Little Brown Spark. 2008. If you are affiliated with Boston University, you can access the full text through the library.
Roy Peter Clark. 20 Questions Toward Achieving Civic Clarity in Your Writing. Poynter Institute. September 2020.
Purdue Onling Writing Lab. Paramedic Method: A Lesson in Writing Concisely.
This is really helpful as someone relatively new to public health writing. Thanks so much for sharing!
Good suggestions. I have been writing commentaries for physician publications since the 70’s. I would emphasize word choice. It’s important to pick the right word for your intentions. Rhymezone.com is a good choice for synonyms, but always-learning-a-new word-everyday is also helpful. I don’t think most people today can handle long essays. Mine are never more than 800 words, or 3 minutes reading time.